Sorry I never had the courage to face adversity, never had courage to own up. I’m sorry I never had strength to bring things back together, never dare to speak up. I’m sorry that the “force” had to go this way. I will try to make it up to you. If only you knew, if only I wasn’t such a timid. Be gracious with me, I’m merely human.
this is tagged as a #traumatic #emotional #crazy post.
I realize as “moved on” as I’m about my dad’s death; as much as I know he is in “the better place”, there are certain places and moments in a day, week, month that I feel as close to him as real. It is moments where I walked past the semi-closed door of my parents room, and I think I see him lying there asleep like how I would view it as a kid. It’s a fraction of memory and it feels like my heart has been wrenched out and squeeze out dry like a sponge.
Dry. I think that’s how one of such moments feel like, so fictional yet so real. Life goes on and I go on about my daily routine.
As I watched family flocked in and out of the army open house, I was reminded of my dad and his army stories that he narrated to me as I was growing up. As the fathers pulled along these kids, I saw the admiration and joy on the camo-painted faces of the kid.
In the course of two weeks, I’m reminded repeatedly of the importance and the need to honor the fathers of our land. There is something significant when the heart of the father is turned back to the son and when the son is turned back to the father. First the physical then the spiritual. It’s not a coincidence that the theme of 45years of national service is : “from fathers to son”.
Maybe I’m blowing too much in proportion. Now how did a “sozo-needed-demon-deliverance-emo-heart-wrenching” post turned into such an awkwardly holy one. I think “honor your father and mother” does not stop at not arguing with them or respecting them for the things they have done.
Have a BLASTING day ahead.
I’m conflicted how we can be the most judgmental creatures. I understand that u might gain some credit to throw the first stone if u were the elder son, the one who kept the law. You might argue that one’s life can be determined one’s action and that he is the captain of his fate.
The question boils down to the idea, if I were to fail you ten times, would you still help me for the eleventh time? Easier said than done, more grace Lord.
Taken by Laura Sperl
Poverty in the streets of Paris, a hungry baby reaching out its arms for food as the french people and hundreds of tourists carelessly passed them by.
I sing over you my bride
I draw you closer
I have waited so long for you my bride
Just to tell you “I love you”
I sing over you my bride
Your faces I remember
I have not left you
Not even in your destitute
I sing over you dear ones
I’ve sent the bridegroom for you
The price has been paid, you are mine
The cup of wine you partake
You will remember that I’m always here
I sing over you dear ones
The wedding is coming
Lift up your gowns, white as stark
I’ve love you and I’m coming for you
I sing over you my love
For the world may fall apart
And darkness may tread this land
But My love for you will never fail,
With Me you are safe, forever and ever.
